Jacob "The Rock" Ebersol

A luxuriously mustachioed explorer asks you if you will spank him while wearing bluefaced makeup.

Intimately acquainted with ketamine and horse heads.
10/5/2018 - Just a shout out to all my DORAs. I'm rather fishy looking now. Anyone who has an unbalanced mind should probably avoid travel with me, if at all possible. Ah yes, I walked the pattern and am now a Real Boy and no longer a fish.

Jacob "The Rock" Ebersol was a Navy helicopter pilot previous to becoming a DORA. He flew extensively in the Afghanistan theater of operations, Kandahar province. When he first came to the Red Carpet, there was a sense of an explosion and sounds of rending metal. The Rock figures he is dead. It must have been a helo crash.

The Rock speaks Pashtun and Arabic a little. He also picked up some Mandarin in spell school. He knows his Military Tactics and can survive in the Desert with moderate competence. He's proficient in many kinds of weaponry, including 50-cal machine guns and helicopter miniguns. He is about as Steetwise as a brick, though. That is, he is more likely to be stepped on than to be the one doing the stepping. The Rock absolutely can not hold his liquor. Give him some and watch the hilarity ensue.

The Rock was at one point carefully exploring the "afterlife" but experience and brain melting experiences have caused him to become more reckless in his explorations. He doesn't believe actions have real consequences here -- not consequences that matter at least. Rock does know that his brain unmelts a bit when he does good and altruistic things, however, so he's decided to try that for a while.

The Rock is a bit obsessed with Smurfs. He is sometimes seen in blueface, he buys boxes of Captain Crunch Crunchberries and writes "Smurfberries" in Sharpie on top of it. He hates the Keebler Elves as much as they hate him. Well, he thinks they're Keebler Elves anyway. They're really just plain elves. He is prone to fellating anyone who is blue as a matter of course, and he constantly says "smurf," "smurfy," "smurfing," etc. instead of actually letting anyone know what he really means. His smurf name is "Horny smurf."

The Rock served the Brown Archon (AI) for quite a while, before the blackulas and Bat-Man decided to turn this watery god into a statue by mixing him with cement. To get Brown out of immediate danger, the Rock sank the statue into the deepest part of Lake Hollywood in Red Carpet, where Brown's previous "sewer powers" began to morph into "fish powers." Brown says he's changing. Rock feels responsible, but has told Brown to just "roll with it." Since Red Carpet appears to no longer exist, the status of the Brown Archon is questionable.

Rock is scared to death of his new Amber powers. He is also very, very bad at using them. Talk to Aeolus or Doc Fulton if you want Trumps. He's still playing with his Paint-by-numbers (Trump Edition) master set. He will likely Shadow Walk you into a brick wall, or worse.